Welcome to the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage” pre-marital mentoring page. We want this page to provide everything you need to provide every engaged couple in your church with a mentor couple who can walk them through a comprehensive pre-marital program. We also want to see the experienced marriages in your church enriched as they invest in engaged couples who are just beginning their marital journey.
In this 3 minute video I orient you to the ministry model and content you’ll find below.
If you want the complete training we provide to our mentors, we have included that video next. Here is the training notebook that is referenced in this training (GCM Mentor Training). Feel free to use this training video for mentors at your church until you have an experienced mentor prepared to lead a comparable training.
Here is the single page job description we provide to mentors to overview their responsibilities (Job Description — GCM Mentor) and how to utilize the materials found below.
Pre-Marital Mentor Training from The Sam James Institute on Vimeo.
After completing this much of the training, you should be equipped to utilize the resources below as a pre-marital mentor. Mentoring is meant to be a cooperative learning experience. The relational strengths and weaknesses of each engaged couple, as revealed by the evaluations for each seminar, will take each mentoring relationship on a slightly different path. Learning the new story of each engaged couple and taking slightly different emphases in each of the five key areas is meant to keep mentoring fresh for the experienced couples investing in this ministry.
Here are a few other preface resources you may be interested in reviewing.
- Mentor Page – this is the page where we update FAQ’s from mentors and provide other tools our mentors would need.
- Engaged Couple Page – this is the page where we direct our engaged couples to get what they need for each meeting with their mentor.
- Why Mentoring for Pre-Marital Counseling? – this is 7 minute video where I describe why we chose mentoring as our pre-marital model.
NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebooks for each of these seminars. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at counseling@summitrdu.com (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).
First Meeting: Getting to Know Each Other
As you prepare for your first meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
- Resource One: Sketching Our Marriage Story
- Resource One (Sample): Marriage Story_Birth to Wedding_SAMPLE
- Resource Two: Celebrating Our Non-Moral Differences
- Resource Three: Purity Covenant (4 minute discussion of this covenant here)
***Note: For the first meeting each of you will also need to complete these three on-line evaluations. Please e-mail the results to your mentors as instructed when you complete each evaluation. At the end of this first meeting you and your mentors will decide which of these subjects to focus on in your second meeting.
- Evaluation One:
- Marital Expectations (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Marriage Expectations (printable PDF version) – GCM_Foundations_Eval1_Expectations
- Evaluation Two:
- Marriage as Covenant (automated scoring on-line version // preferred) – GCM_Foundations_Eval2_Covenant
- Marriage as Covenant (printable PDF version)
- Evaluation Three:
- Character & Role Expectations (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Character & Role Expectations (printable PDF version) – GCM_Foundations_Eval3_Character&Roles
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Second Meeting: Foundations
As you prepare for your second meeting with your mentors this 4 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Each of you will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting three.
- Evaluation One:
- Listening (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Listening (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Listening
- Evaluation Two:
- Day-to-Day Communication (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Day-to-Day Communication (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Day-to-Day_Communication
- Evaluation Three:
- Conflict Resolution (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Conflict Resolution (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Conflict Resolution
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Communication” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Third Meeting: Communication
As you prepare for your third meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Each of you will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting four.
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Evaluation One:
- Financial Beliefs and Character (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Financial Beliefs and Character (printable PDF version) – Evaluation – Financial Beliefs and Character
- Evaluation Two:
- The Budgeting Process (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- The Budgeting Process (printable PDF version) – Evaluation – Budgeting Process
- Evaluation Three:
- Attitude Toward Debt and Savings (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Attitude Toward Debt and Savings (printable PDF version) – Evaluation – Debt and Savings
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Finances” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Fourth Meeting: Finances
As you prepare for your fourth meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Each of you will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting five.
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Evaluation One:
- Personal Decision Making (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Personal Decision Making (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Personal Decision Making
- Evaluation Two:
- Consensus Decision Making (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Consensus Decision Making (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Consensus Decision Making
- Evaluation Three:
- Headship-Submission Decision Making (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Headship-Submission Decision Making (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Corporate Decision Making
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Fifth Meeting: Decision Making
As you prepare for your fifth meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
You will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting six.
- Evaluation One:
- Preferences in Expressing / Receiving Love (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Preferences in Expressing / Receiving Love (printable PDF version) – GCM_Intimacy_Eval_Differences
- Evaluation Two:
- Living in the Larger Love Story (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Living in the Larger Love Story (printable PDF version) – GCM_Intimacy_Eval_The Story
- Evaluation Three:
- Being Excellent Lovers (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Being Excellent Lovers (printable PDF version) – GCM_Intimacy_Eval_Sex
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Intimacy” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Sixth Meeting: Intimacy
As you prepare for your sixth meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Here is a letter where we recommend what things to focus on how that you’ve completed the structured part of our mentoring program – PFM Completion Letter.
What Now?
At your sixth meeting, you and your mentor couple will discuss how and when you’ll get together. Stay connected with your mentor couple. By now you know they volunteered for this ministry because they want to be a blessing to young couples like you guys. Allow them to be the blessing God has called them to be.
In your small group (click here if you are not in one), you can go through any of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage” seminars. This is a great way to get the material you didn’t cover with your mentors and to reinforce these important principles during the formative first months/years of your marriage.
If you need additional counseling assistance, please look at the various services we provides here.