If you have not already registered for our Preparing for Marriage ministry (PFM), that is your first step. All the information you will need to register for PFM or request Summit pastor to perform your wedding can be found here.
If you’re curious about why we choose to utilize mentoring as a major part of our pre-marital ministry, here is video that explains this and how you can get the most out of your PFM experience.
Mentoring Relationship
The rest of this page will orient you to the marriage mentoring relationship. The structured part of this relationship consists of six meetings. Below you will find video description of the primary objectives for each meeting and the resources you’ll use.
First Meeting:
Getting to Know Each Other
As you prepare for your first meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
- Resource One: Sketching Our Marriage Story
- Resource One (Sample): Marriage Story_Birth to Wedding_SAMPLE
- Resource Two: Celebrating Our Non-Moral Differences
- Resource Three: Purity Covenant (4 minute discussion of this covenant here)
***Note: For the first meeting each of you will also need to complete these three on-line evaluations. Please e-mail the results to your mentors as instructed when you complete each evaluation. At the end of this first meeting you and your mentors will decide which of these subjects to focus on in your second meeting.
- Evaluation One:
- Marital Expectations (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Marriage Expectations (printable PDF version) – GCM_Foundations_Eval1_Expectations
- Evaluation Two:
- Marriage as Covenant (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Marriage as Covenant (printable PDF version) – GCM_Foundations_Eval2_Covenant
- Evaluation Three:
- Character & Role Expectations (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Character & Role Expectations (printable PDF version) – GCM_Foundations_Eval3_Character&Roles
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Second Meeting:
Foundations
As you prepare for your second meeting with your mentors this 4 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Each of you will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting three.
- Evaluation One:
- Listening (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Listening (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Listening
- Evaluation Two:
- Day-to-Day Communication (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Day-to-Day Communication (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Day-to-Day_Communication
- Evaluation Three:
- Conflict Resolution (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Conflict Resolution (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Conflict Resolution
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Communication” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Third Meeting:
Communication
As you prepare for your third meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Each of you will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting four.
-
Evaluation One:
- Financial Beliefs and Character (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Financial Beliefs and Character (printable PDF version) – Evaluation – Financial Beliefs and Character
- Evaluation Two:
- The Budgeting Process (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- The Budgeting Process (printable PDF version) – Evaluation – Budgeting Process
- Evaluation Three:
- Attitude Toward Debt and Savings (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Attitude Toward Debt and Savings (printable PDF version) – Evaluation – Debt and Savings
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Finances” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Fourth Meeting:
Finances
As you prepare for your fourth meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
You will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting five.
-
Evaluation One:
- Personal Decision Making (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Personal Decision Making (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Personal Decision Making
- Evaluation Two:
- Consensus Decision Making (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Consensus Decision Making (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Consensus Decision Making
- Evaluation Three
- Headship-Submission Decision Making (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Headship-Submission Decision Making (printable PDF version) – GCMevaluation_Corporate Decision Making
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Fifth Meeting:
Decision Making
As you prepare for your fifth meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
You will need to complete these three evaluations. You will review them with your mentors at the end of this meeting to identify your main subject for meeting six.
- Evaluation One:
- Preferences in Expressing / Receiving Love (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Preferences in Expressing / Receiving Love (printable PDF version) – GCM_Intimacy_Eval_Differences
- Evaluation Two:
- Living in the Larger Love Story (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Living in the Larger Love Story (printable PDF version) – GCM_Intimacy_Eval_The Story
- Evaluation Three:
- Being Excellent Lovers (automated scoring on-line version // preferred)
- Being Excellent Lovers (printable PDF version) – GCM_Intimacy_Eval_Sex
Once you decide with your mentors which portion of this materials you will focus on, you can watch those portions of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Intimacy” videos here (if a live presentation does not correspond with when you’re at this point).
Sixth Meeting:
Intimacy
As you prepare for your sixth meeting with your mentors this 3 minute video will help you know what to expect and how to prepare.
Here is a letter where we recommend what things to focus on how that you’ve completed the structured part of our mentoring program – PFM Completion Letter
What Now?
At your sixth meeting, you and your mentor couple will discuss how and when you’ll get together. Stay connected with your mentor couple. By now you know they volunteered for this ministry because they want to be a blessing to young couples like you guys. Allow them to be the blessing God has called them to be.
In your small group (click here if you are not in one), you can go through any of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage” seminars. This is a great way to get the material you didn’t cover with your mentors and to reinforce these important principles during the formative first months/years of your marriage.
If you need additional counseling assistance, please look at the various services we provides here.
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