This is a weekly post that highlights resources from other counselors that I have found helpful. The counselors may be from the biblical counseling, Christian psychology, integration, or secular counseling traditions. By linking to a post, I am not giving it my full endorsement, I am merely indicating that I believe it made a unique contribution or raised an important subject for consideration.
How to Be a Happy Husband: Advice to a 15-year-old Son by J.D. Greear
This is great advice for all the 15-year-olds out there, a helpful template for all the parents out there, and a much needed reminder to all the husbands out there!
- This blog reminded me of “A New Letter Writing Tradition for My Boys.”
They Call It Narcissism by Ed Welch
As a catalyst for thought, I read Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary. Though not a Christian book, I was helped by her kindness and insight, and she actually rekindled my interest in engaging those who fit the narcissist description. Rather than review the book, I will identify a few of the points that helped me rethink how to love those who show this level of entitled self-interest.
- If you benefited from this post, you might like the conclusion to my “Marriage with a Chronically Self-Centered Spouse” series – Letter to the Chronically Self-Centered Spouse.
Resources for Broken Hearts by Lisa LaGeorge
I work with college students, so I work often with broken hearts: girls who are certain that this guy was the one and now they will never be happy again; nice guys who only meet 8 of a girl’s list of 10 essential husband qualities, girls afraid of broken hearts who won’t ever say “Yes” to a cup of coffee. My own heart has been broken a time or two with all of the reasons above. After the season with the many tissues is over, what to do?
- If you enjoyed this post you might like this devotion Reflections on Broken Hearts and Closed Ears.
Growth vs. Contentment: do I have to choose? by David Hughes
I often hear people talk as if there are really two options: either be happy with themselves and their circumstances or pursue growth and improvement. The problem with this narrative is that it contains a few assumptions.
- Contentment is often misunderstood, which makes it hard to achieve. Here is another clarification on the subject: Contented Contentment.
The Next Frontier in Pornography by Tim Challies
Over the past few years I have had many opportunities to speak on the twin subjects of pornography and technology… When I speak on these topics I typically conclude with a Q&A session, and of all the questions I’ve been asked, this may be the most common: What’s next? What’s the next big technology for which we are likely to embrace the obvious benefits and only learn about the risks after the damage has already been done?
- For an excellent resource on how the gospel helps us fight for purity consider the “What I’m Reading” resource below.
What I’m Reading
Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free by Tim Chester. Pornography is everywhere. Far too many Christians regularly use and are addicted to it, warping their perception of sexuality and relationships, destroying marriages and ministries. But Christians who struggle with porn also long for change. When we realize the unfulfilling emptiness of porn, we come to yearn for freedom from it. But what do we do?
Tim Chester says that we can be captured by a better vision–a liberating confidence that God offers more than pornography does. Moving beyond pat answers or mere willpower, Chester offers spiritual, practical and corporate resources for living porn free. He exposes the false promises of porn and redirects us to the true promises of God. With assurance of God’s grace and cleansing power, we can change our desires and escape the traps and temptations of pornography. However great the challenge, God’s grace is even greater. And we can come to a place where we no longer feel the need to use porn. Close the window on porn. And open the door to freedom, integrity and new life.
Tweets of the Week
An important pastoral step to care for others well is to validate their pain and suffering and simply empathize. Too many pastors skip this skip and jump to try and solve.
— Brian Croft (@PastorCroft) April 22, 2018
“We are inventors of imaginary trophies. We create them, we earn them, then we fight over them.”
John Henderson— Jeremy Pierre (@jeremypierre) April 25, 2018
My parents have been married for 34 years. My mom is in the final stages of young onset dementia (diagnosed 5 years ago at 53). My dad cares for her full-time. She doesn’t always remember his name but she knows she is safe with him. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is. pic.twitter.com/8oW2n4mGza
— Kelli Taylor (@keenertaylor) April 26, 2018
Sometimes I’m still astounded that God is *with* us. As a therapist + as a person, I have learned this is the most precious thing we can give anyone—our presence. We are hardwired for connection, but he doesn’t just tell us about it, he shows it and models it.
— Aundi Kolber (@aundikolber) April 25, 2018
Meaningful Meme
On the Lighter Side
Because, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.
… said no dog ever.