This is the sixth podcast in a nine part series entitled “True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin.”  True Betrayal has a complementing seminar entitled “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery.” For more information on either seminar, please follow the links provided.

“Replacing What Is Real with What Is True”
LEARN MY GOSPEL STORY by which God gives meaning to my experience.

“I have already told you how my spouse’s sin shaped my life [review step 4]. Letting go of that story, identity, and set of beliefs left me with only God. It was good to begin rebuilding my life from that solid foundation. Now I am beginning to understand my life with God and the Gospel at the center  [examples from previous list reinterpreted].”

Memorize: Hosea 2:23-3:1 (ESV), “‘And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, “You are my People”; And he shall say, “You are my God.”’ And the Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulterous, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.’” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “I will have mercy” – The search for fairness in the betrayal of any sin will leave you increasingly pained and alone.
  • “On No Mercy” – Background: Hosea named his children “No Mercy” and “Not My People” to represent Israel.
  • “He shall say” – The response of the unfaithful spouse is necessary if forgiveness can ever become restoration.
  • “Go again” – If restoration is going to occur it will involve more than your spouse pursuing you.
  • “As the Lord” – Each step of embracing the gospel story for your suffering calls you to remember Christ.

Teaching Notes

“She suddenly realized she had lost not only her marriage and her husband but also part of herself. There was absolutely nothing left to hang on to. She found herself completely insufficient for the first time in her life, and terror gripped her… She came to understand that she had put Gary above God. It was not that she thought Gary was God—especially now—but she looked to Gary to be her source of strength, comfort, and love (p. 66)… Our faith grew because we found we were not enough and God was (p. 67).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

“The foundation we rebuild on will be the foundation intended for marriage—God Himself. That foundation is sound because God is trustworthy. We rebuild the trust as if we were rebuilding a house brick by brick. The house fell, but God’s foundation is still safe (p. 185).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

“One’s past is never over except in God’s eyes. Our failures are woven into the fabric of our lives. The sinner can rejoice in God’s goodness and forgiveness while at the same time being reminded of his or her own vulnerability and helped to stand against ongoing temptation (p. 137).” Earl & Sandy Wilson, et al in Restoring the Fallen

“When we examine the Bible’s teaching on forgiveness, it’s helpful to distinguish two levels. We cultivate attitudinal or heart forgiveness before God concerning all offenders; we extend transacted or granted forgiveness to those offenders who repent (p. 15).” Robert Jones in After Adultery

“Believers need to dispel from their minds the myth that if you have forgiven someone and you love that person, you will never bring up the past. In reality, the past is inextricably woven into the present and impacts the future (p. 102).” Earl & Sandy Wilson, et al in Restoring the Fallen

Other podcasts in the G4-addiction series are available at:


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