For too long the church has allowed culture to own the discussion of sex. God created sex and declared it good. When we distort sex, God can redeem our guilt (if we have sinned) or our shame (if we have been abused). In a culture that is obsessed with sex – any honest assessment of modern marketing would have to concede we’re obsessed – the church must engage the conversation of sex and sexuality.
Below are ten resources that seek to address the subjects of sex and sexuality from a highly practical and thoroughly Scriptural world-view. Some are full-length seminars designed to launch pre-marital mentoring or recovery group ministries; others are as brief as a few minute introduction to important conversations with your children.
To access each resource just click on the heading with the title of that material.
1. Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Intimacy
This seminar examines God’s design for the romantic and intimate aspects of marriage. The fourth and fifth videos seek to provide a thorough sex education to facilitate a vibrant and satisfying sex life for married couples.
2. Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations
This seminar explores God’s design for marriage. The fourth video looks at the responsibilities that are shared in the “job description” of a Christian husband and wife. The fifth and sixth videos look at the responsibilities that are unique in the “job description” of a Christian husband and wife based upon gender.
3. Cohabitation: A Conversation Starter
This six minute video seeks to answer the question of many dating couples in our day:
My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months, but have been living together for a while. When we were doing our pre-marital counseling we were told living together before marriage was wrong and that we should live separately until we’re married. We want to honor God, but don’t understand why this is a big deal if we love each other and will be married in a few months anyway. We’re not trying to be rebellious, but we want to understand why a change like this would be necessary.
4. False Love
Many people in our day face the pain of their sexuality out-of-control. “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery” is a seminar that facilitates a recovery group or counseling relationship built around 9 steps that are meant to represent how the gospel provides freedom from sin-based struggles.
5. True Betrayal
Many people also face the pain of a spouse’s sexual sin and they are not sure how God would speak to their suffering. “True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin” is a seminar that facilitates a recovery group or counseling relationship built around 9 steps that are meant to represent how the gospel provides comfort for suffering-based struggles.
6. Hope & Restoration After Sexual Abuse
At least 20% of people (1 in 4 women; 1 in 6 men) experience sexual abuse. This is an intense and traumatic form of suffering which is often exacerbated by silence and shame. This seminar seeks to provides guidance for how the gospel provides hope and restoration for those who have experienced sexual abuse.
7. A Guide for Churches to Address Sexual Abuse
One of the reasons so many suffer the effects of sexual abuse in silence is because we (church or culture) have not found a way to bring the subject into conversation. On the weekend of May 18-19 The Summit Church (Durham, NC) addressed the subject of sexual abuse in all of our weekend services. This series is a reflection of those services, the preparation that went into them, and the aftercare that was provided.
8. Same Sex Attraction
The subject of homosexuality, gay identity, and same sex attraction are increasingly important counseling subjects as evangelicals engage the cultural conversations of our day. If someone does not choose to be attracted to the same sex, can they chose not to be attracted? What influence does an absent or distant father have upon one’s sexual identity? What influence does being sexually abused or experiencing premature sexualization have upon sexual identity? Sam Williams addresses these questions and many more with grace, truth, and the insight of an experienced counselor in his faculty lecture at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.
9. Talking to Our Children About Masturbation
Most parents dread having “the talk” with their child about sex. Too few parents consider how to have a talk with their children about masturbation. This 6 minute vlog makes the point, “If we do not talk to our children about masturbation, our culture will be happy to take our place,” and then provides guidance on when and how to have this conversation. Here is another blog on “Pre-Sex Talks with Adolescents.” Here is an excerpt from an interview I did with Covenant Eyes on this subject.
10. Lust and Grief
Here is a vlog post I created in response to a question from a Covenant Eyes user who was asking hard questions about lust after the death of his wife.