This post is one in a series of frequently asked questions by those who use the Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage seminar series as part of their church’s pre-marital program. The responses are written as we use them at the Summit Church. Your church may need to tweak the responses in order to better fit your ministry context.
- What if the couple comes into the program late (close to their wedding)?
- What if we think they need to meet with a more experienced counselor? What if we think they do not need to get married… at least not in the time frame they’ve set?
- What if we’re uncomfortable talking about [blank] or don’t feel like we do a good job with [blank]?
- What should we know about pre-marital couples (just in case we forgot what this season of life was like)?
- Are there articles or books I need to be reading?
- What if we learn the couple is living together?
Honestly, this is unfortunately common. This is why we put the “red flag” screening in the evaluation discussed at the end of the first session (more will be said about this in the next question). We cannot be a social engineer; forcing couples to do things in an ideal fashion. We can provide excellent comprehensive (both in term of content and relationship) pre-marital preparation. We can make this resource known throughout our church and community so that more couples enter our pre-marital program early in their engagement. Our advisement to you with couples who enter the mentoring relationship late in their engagement is:
- Remain positive and upbeat about being a part of this season in their life.
- Screen for red flags in the first meeting (if significant problems are found, see the next question).
- If no red flags are found, stay on the normal schedule (meeting on somewhere between a 2-5 week interval).
- Allow the post-wedding meetings to cover the subjects that were not addressed before the wedding.