This video segment is one of six presentations in the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations” seminar. There will be four more seminars in this series covering the subjects: communication, finances, decision making, and intimacy. As those presentations are ready they will be posted on this blog.

NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).

Part 4: Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations from Equip on Vimeo.

Unit Three Evaluation: GCM_Foundations_Eval3_Character&Roles

Worksheet Five: Job Description — Husband

Worksheet Six: Job Description — Wife

Memorize: Ephesians 5:15-18, 21 (ESV), “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit… submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “Look carefully”– The Christian life nor marriage are for lazy people who resist regularly examining their life.
  • “Making the best use of the time” – As Paul prepares to teach on marriage, he reminds us of our use of time.
  • “Do not be foolish” – Most of what wrecks a marriage is living foolishly (short-sighted, self-centered living).
  • “Be filled with the Spirit” – When overwhelmed with your role, remember, it is the Holy Spirit who sustains you.
  • “Submitting to one another” – Most of marriage is mutual submission to living out what is mutually agreed upon.

 Teaching Notes

“There is a conservative approach to marriage that puts a great deal of stress on traditional gender roles… There is a lot of emphasis on the differences between men and women. The problem is that an overemphasis could encourage selfishness, especially on the part of the husband (p. 66)… It is my experience that it is nearly impossible to come up with a single, detailed, and very specific set of ‘manly’ or ‘womanly’ characteristics that fits every temperament and culture (p. 200).” Tim Keller in The Meaning of Marriage

“Your identity as someone’s spouse is secondary to your identity as a servant of God (p. 83).” Winston Smith in Marriage Matters

“The example the husband sets has eternal consequences. This means headship is more about controlling one’s character than controlling one’s wife. The man who is more concerned with how his wife should obey him than with how he should obey God fails the kindergarten of biblical headship (p. 78).” Bryan Chappell in Each for the Other

“God is always worthy of being obeyed and served, so when I act out of obedience to him, the person who receives my service doesn’t have to be deserving—they’re benefiting from what I owe God (p. 188)… Service includes allowing your spouse to give—if, of course, they are willing to give. In other words, service isn’t just washing somebody else’s feet; at times it’s letting your own feet be washed (p. 190).” Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage

“After declaring that there is mutual submission in verse 21, Paul devotes twelve verses to unfolding the difference in the way a husband and wife should serve each other. You don’t need to deny mutual submission to affirm the importance of the unique role of the husband as head and the unique calling of the wife to submit to that headship (p. 78).” John Piper in This Momentary Marriage