This video segment is one of six presentations in the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations” seminar. There will be four more seminars in this series covering the subjects: communication, finances, decision making, and intimacy. As those presentations are ready they will be posted on this blog.
NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at firstname.lastname@example.org (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).
Worksheet Six: Job Description — Wife
Memorize: Ephesians 5:22-24 (ESV), “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:
- “Submit” – Define this word in light of the passage instead of defining this passage by your response to this word.
- “To your own husbands” – This passage is not about the value of men-women, but functioning within a family.
- “As Christ is the head” – More women may embrace Christianity because they are made to be in the church-role.
- “As the church” – Read how Jesus’ sees and treats His church to understand God’s intention (Rev. 21).
- “In everything” – This does not apply to immoral actions and should not be frequently needed but is the standard.
“Modern Western readers immediately focus on (and often bristle at) the word ‘submit,’ because for us it touches the controversial issue of gender roles. But to start arguing about that is a mistake that will be fatal to any true grasp of Paul’s introductory point. He is declaring that everything he is about to say about marriage assumes that the parties are being filled with God’s Spirit. Only if you have learned to serve others by the power of the Holy Spirit will you have the power to face the challenges of marriage (p. 50-51).” Tim Keller in The Meaning of Marriage
“God did not make marriages with a cookie cutter, and the ways in which wives may support, complement, and complete their spouses are usually open to a lifetime of discovery. But the realization that Christ intends for each wife to represent him—to be his hands and heart—for her husband is the key discovery that revolutionizes women’s perceptions of their purposes in marriage (p. 105).” Bryan Chappell in Each for the Other
“We see that the submissive wife—far from being the weak-willed women our culture portrays—is actually a model of inner strength. By God’s grace, she has conquered this opposition within her own heart. It is actually weakness on display when a wife is not submissive; she is only caving in to her natural inclination to usurp authority and demand her own way. That doesn’t take any effort at all (p. 140).” Carolyn Mahaney in Feminine Appeal
“As women become more assertive in the marriage relationship, many men have become increasingly passive in their homes. Women then become less respectful of their husbands, and husbands in turn show less love to their wives (p. 167).” Dennis Rainey (editor) in Preparing for Marriage
“God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (p. 4)… She will also show respect on a daily basis when he is just an everyday, ordinary person. If your husband is in this category (as are most husbands), God wants you to be grateful for him and his ordinary job, looks, not-so-eloquent speaking ability, etc. (p. 110).” Martha Peace in The Excellent Wife
“We simply can’t have our cake and eat it, too. We can’t insist on running the show and then expect men to be proactive, take initiative, and be ‘spiritual leaders’… You must be willing to let him fail—believing that ultimately, your security is not in your husband but in a sovereign God who is not going to fail you (p. 154).” Nancy Leigh DeMoss in Lies Women Believe