Pornography is a painful intruder into many marriages. The fact that it is “common” does not make it any less painful. The chicken pox is a “common” illness for children, but we still take them to the doctor and provide care when they’re sick.
For pornography, however, it can be very awkward for a couple to know what the best form of care is. It feels like the pain has already been done, we cannot undo it, and stopping it presents its own set of struggles:
Pornography is private enough, how do I know he’s stopped? If I ask if he’s struggled, I don’t want him to lie and I don’t want him to say yes? Until he tells me he slipped, I think he is just giving me the right answer. Worrying about all this makes me feel like his mother more than his wife.
The flip-side of those struggles present themselves for the husband:
I can tell her I’ve not looked at porn again, but she doesn’t trust me. Why should she? That is what I said when she asked before. If I tell her when I fail, it will hurt her. It almost seems right to protect her from the truth. When we focus on my struggle with porn, I start to relate to her like my mother and resent it.
It is in light of these struggles (and others), that this training we will address:
- How does a husband viewing pornography affect his wife?
- How does pornography relate to adultery?
- How and to whom should a wife share her pain and receive comfort?
- How does a husband protect and comfort his wife after his sin has hurt her?
- What are the do’s and don’ts for a wife after learning about pornography?
- What are the do’s and don’ts for a husband after he’s been caught?
This will be a hour and half presentation by Brad Hambrick, Pastor Counseling at The Summit Church. The target audiences are both those whose marriage has been affected by pornography and those who care for such couples (small group leaders, pastors, counselors, etc…).
Date: Thursday April 21, 2011
Time: 10:00 am – 12:00 pm
Location: The Summit Church (Brier Creek Campus) Suite 111
Address: 2335 Presidential Drive; Durham, NC 27703
Cost: Free
Anyone in the community is welcomed to attend. This event will highlight Converting Hearts Ministries (CHM; www.convertinghearts.org). CHM provides counseling services and a residential program for those struggling with alcohol, drug, or sexual addiction.