Council of Counselors: Singleness / Dating / Domestic Violence / Race Bias / End of Life

This is a weekly post that highlights resources from other counselors that I have found helpful. The counselors may be from the biblical counseling, Christian psychology, integration, or secular counseling traditions. By linking to a post, I am not giving it my full endorsement, I am merely indicating that I believe it made a unique contribution or raised an important subject for consideration.

The “Gift” of Singleness by Jayne Clark

You’ve expressed your desire for marriage to family and friends, and they have reassured you with a common refrain: “If you want to be married, it’s obvious you don’t have the gift of singleness. You’re meant to be married. The right guy just hasn’t come along yet. But hang in there—he will.” They are confirming what you have suspected: since you want to be married, God hasn’t given you the gift of singleness. If you had the gift, you would not be struggling this way.

10 Questions on Dating with Matt Chandler

1. Is My Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) Godly Enough?
2. Is There “Too Fast” in Christian Dating?
3. Has Facebook Ruined Dating?
4. Should My Church Help Me Get Married?
5. Should I Date a Godly Girl I Do Not Find Attractive?
6. Should a Boyfriend “Lead” His Girlfriend?
7. Keys to Sexual Purity in Dating
8. When Should a Single Stop Dating?
9. Dating and Marriage for the Victims of Past Abuse
10. What Hope Does God Offer Lonely Singles?

How Pastors Perceive Domestic Violence Differently by Bob Smietana

When it comes to domestic violence, Protestant pastors want to be helpful but often don’t know where to start. Most say their church would be a safe haven for victims of domestic violence. But many don’t know if anyone in their church has been a victim of domestic violence. And only half say they have a plan in place to help if a victim comes forward. Those are among the findings of a new report on churches and domestic abuse from LifeWay Research, based on a phone survey of 1,000 Protestant senior pastors.

• For two resources to on abusive relationships see the Overcoming Codependency seminar and Chronically Self-Centered Spouse blog series.

Productive Conversations about Race, Bias, and Cultural Intelligence (CQ) by David Livermore

Diversity fatigue is not going away. Particularly with political riffs dividing friends and family, many people have had enough of it all and long for the days when recipes and cat videos filled their Facebook page. While this applies to political conversations, I’m actually interested in thinking about it far more broadly than that.

End of Life Planning by UCSF Memory and Aging Center

Life-planning decisions should be discussed as early as possible so you and your loved ones can thoughtfully consider options and voice your values. Talking about these plans may make you uncomfortable or seem irrelevant if you’re young, but the earlier you start, the better off you and your loved ones will be. You will have more time to think about what you really want. These documents can be updated and changed over time as needed.

What I’m Reading

Is It My Fault? by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb is a message of hope and healing to victims who know too well the depths of destruction and the overwhelming reality of domestic violence.At least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in their lifetime. The effects of domestic violence are physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and can have long-lasting distressing consequences. It is common for victims of domestic violence to suffer from ongoing depression and recurring nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, substance abuse, and more.

Tweets of the Week

Meaningful Meme

On the Lighter Side

Because, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.