COUNCIL OF COUNSELORS: Dysfunctional Family Rules / Negative People / Parenting & Pornography / Pastors Suicide / Cross-Cultural Moments

This is a weekly post that highlights resources from other counselors that I have found helpful. The counselors may be from the biblical counseling, Christian psychology, integration, or secular counseling traditions. By linking to a post, I am not giving it my full endorsement, I am merely indicating that I believe it made a unique contribution or raised an important subject for consideration.

The 5 Don’ts of Dysfunctional Family Communication by Eric Scalise, Ph.D.

Every family has its own unique set of rules. They are typically established by parents and set the tone for communication, decision-making, and conflict resolution, as well as defining the parameters for how relationships are supposed to function within the home environment. Here are five such rules I have seen over the course of working with hundreds of families—rules that often create chaos, hurt, and confusion—though you will never see them attached to the refrigerator with a magnet. Their impact often leaves family members, especially children, too afraid to try anything, too hurt to love anybody and too angry to obey.

• If you find yourself living by these rules, consider this seminar on codependency.

5 Signs That You’re Giving Negative People Too Much Power by Amy Morin

Have you ever been so exasperated by someone’s rude behavior that you lay awake in the middle of the night thinking about that person? Have you ever found yourself complaining about the same co-worker every day? Here are five signs you’re giving negative people too much power in your life.

• If you see these signs in your relationship consider this post on boundaries.

I just caught my kid looking at pornography by John Hussung

It’s a day that you prayed wouldn’t come. You discover that the search history on your computer or phone shows that it has. Your child has been searching for internet pornography. Sadly, this is somewhat of a right of passage for many parents today, and Christians are not immune.

• If you are not yet facing this as a parent, consider this vlog on “When / how to talk to my son about masturbation?”

Why Pastors Are Committing Suicide by Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra

Pastors aren’t immune to the rising suicide rates. More than half of pastors have counseled people who were later diagnosed with a mental illness (59 percent), and about a quarter say they’ve experienced some type of mental illness themselves (23 percent). According to LifeWay, 12 percent have been diagnosed with a mental health condition.

• Burnout, getting to severe points of desperation, should not be the purple heart of ministry. Here is a resource to help you avoid ministry burnout.

Weird, Rude, or Different?! Awkward Cross-Cultural Moments by David Livermore

I recently polled my social network for examples of behaviors they had encountered cross-culturally that seemed “rude”. My feed lit up with responses. Here is a small sampling:

Tweets of the Week

What I’m Reading

Awe: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do by Paul David Tripp. Humans are hardwired for awe.Our hearts are always captured by something—that’s how God made us. But sin threatens to distract us from the glory of our Creator. All too often, we stand in awe of everything but God.

Thanks for the Mention

• Covenant Eyes for posting “7 Marks of an Enduring Accountability Relationships”

On the Lighter Side

Because, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.

There is much work to be done with his swing, but I love his heart and slide. The dog is definitely a first round pick as a boy’s best friend.