Council of Counselors: Church Discipline / Emotionally Intelligent Church Planters / Protecting Children / Difficult Ex-Spouse / Indecisive

This is a weekly post that highlights resources from other counselors that I have found helpful. The counselors may be from the biblical counseling, Christian psychology, integration, or secular counseling traditions. By linking to a post, I am not giving it my full endorsement, I am merely indicating that I believe it made a unique contribution or raised an important subject for consideration.

22 Mistakes Pastors Make in Practicing Church Discipline by Jonathan Leeman

Pastors sometimes make the following mistakes regarding formal church discipline.

• If you enjoy this post, you might also be interested in my collection of resources on counseling and the church.

Emotional Intelligence, a Critical Trait of a Church Replanter by Thom Rainer and Mark Clifton (Podcast)

External factors play a major role in replanting and revitalizing. But so do internal factors. Today, Mark Clifton joins us to talk about EQ and its importance in effective leadership.

• If you enjoy this resource, you might also like my post “Neuro-Psychology and Emotional Intelligence.”

9 Ways to Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

We are often asked: “What are some practical things parents can do to protect their children from sexual abuse?” We ended our children’s book, God Made All of Me, with a note to parents and caregivers answering this question. Here are the 9 practical things you can do to protect children.

• Unfortunately, preventative measures sometimes fail and churches need a plan for how to respond in these instances too.

Dealing with a Difficult Ex-Spouse: 10 Tips to Help You Cope by Ron Deal

Dealing with a difficult ex-spouse can be very discouraging and defeating. Yet, we are called to continue trying to pursue good, to “turn the other cheek”, and “walk the extra mile.” Hopefully the following tips can aid you in your efforts to cope—because it’s all about the children.

• If you enjoy this resource, you might also like my post “Spiritually-Morally Divided Co-Parents in a Blended Family.”

7 Tips on How to Kick the Habit of Indecisiveness by Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.

Some people have a hard time making major decisions because they don’t want to take responsibility for their lives and the results of their choices. You may think, “My husband, wife, partner, parent, or friend made the final decision, so it’s their fault, not mine if things don’t go well.” But the reality is, even if you try to blame the person who made the choices for you, as an adult, you’re still responsible for going along with them. Saying, “Well, he made me do it” no longer works once you’re over the age of 18. Therefore, it’s invaluable to take responsibility for yourself, and one way to do it is by being accountable for your choices, actions, and decisions. Even if you have someone else make your decisions for you, you’re still responsible for what happens, because you chose to go along with another person’s decision; no one forced you to do anything.

• For a more distinctively Christian approach to making decisions, consider my post “Seven Steps to Wise Personal Decision Making.”

What I’m Reading

A Small Book about a Big Problem: Meditations on Anger, Patience, and Peace by Ed Welch. Look closely at any day and we can usually find anger in both our actions and attitudes. Things spill or go missing, we get stuck in traffic, and the people we live and work with often make life even harder. We want to stay calm, but what do you do when you feel your blood pressure rise yet again?

Anger is so common yet it also destroys. It leaves its mark on us it s not healthy which is one reason we hear so much about finding peace. And it leaves its mark on others. The wounds we inflict on others when we are angry the loss of intimacy, trust, security, and enjoyment in our closest relationships give us compelling reasons to look closely at our anger and think carefully about how to grow in patience and peace. If you have just gotten irritated for the umpteenth time today, you might wonder if change is possible. Can anyone grow in patience and peace? Yes. But you need a plan. Biblical counselor and psychologist Ed Welch invites readers to take a 50-day journey that unpacks anger and encourages readers to become more skillful at responding with patience to life s difficulties. Along the way, readers will be introduced to Jesus, the Prince of Peace the only one who can empower his people to grow in patience, peace, and wholeness.

Tweets of the Week

Meaningful Meme

On the Lighter Side

Because, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.