Below is a video from the presentation of “Overcoming Codependency.” For the various counseling options available from this material visit

NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).

“From Codependency to Salt and Light”
STEWARD all of my life for God’s glory.

Overcoming Codependency – Step 9 from The Sam James Institute on Vimeo.

Memorize: Matthew 5:13-16 (ESV), “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “Salt… Light” – An implication of this passage is a recognition that we live in places of darkness and decay.
  • “Lost its saltiness… under a basket” – God does not intend for us to lose our voice in our hardships.
  • “Gives light to all” – Living out of God’s love and for God’s purpose is how God intends of us to have influence.
  • “So they may see” – Our freedom in Christ is either attractive to those who want to be free or infuriating for those who want to be in control (abuse) or are satisfied to live in bondage (addiction).
  • “Give glory to your father” – We find the most freedom when we don’t personalize other’s response to our freedom.

Teaching Notes

To “steward” something means to use it for God’s intended purpose. It is important to remember that what is being stewarded is the life of the group member in general, not your experience of suffering exclusively.

“One of the tests for an intimate relationship is answering the question, Can I be most myself in your presence? Can I be creative, funny, vulnerable, productive, strong, weak, flamboyant, shy or even smart? Can I couple any of those words with sex and romance? Can I be tough, forgiving, generous, spiritual, intuitive, graceful, clumsy, lazy, self-indulgent and disciplined? Do I feel equal, successful, attractive, encouraged, trusted and believed? Can I be fully as competent as I can be and not have my partner disappear? Do I feel challenged? Can I be accountable and hold my partner accountable? Is it OK to make a mistake? Does our time together really seem to matter (p. 66)?” Stephanie Carnes in Mending a Shattered Heart

“The odd thing is that fear and anxiety are running away from something, but they don’t know what to run to. They know danger, but they don’t know where to find peace and rest (p. 63)… It’s as if fear needs to be replaced in our lives, and it is replaced with a simple question, ‘What does my Father, the King, want me to do now?’ (p. 241) .” Ed Welch in Running Scared