Below is a video from the presentation of “Overcoming Codependency.” For the various counseling options available from this material visit

NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).

“Contentment as I Continue to Grow”
PERSEVERE in the new life and identity to which God has called me.

step 8 from The Sam James Institute on Vimeo.

Memorize: Romans 5:3-5 (ESV), “More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through this Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “Rejoice” – If you read the passage carefully, you’ll see we rejoice in the fruit of suffering; not the pain.
  • “Endurance… character… hope” – In these words you can likely see the journey you have been on in this study.
  • “Shame” – God is faithful not only to redeem the suffering but remove the shame associated with suffering.
  • “God’s love… poured” – You may fill empty many times on this journey, but remember God’s supply is constant.
  • “Holy Spirit” – This seal (2 Cor. 1:22) of God’s permanent covenant cannot be broken, as hard as life may have been.

Teaching Notes

“Sometimes when we put a stop to our own destructive habits, our relationships actually get worse (p. 142).” Leslie Vernick in The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

“Families often have an end goal of getting someone into treatment, but it is not the end of the road. Your work is not yet done. More hopefully: it’s not the first piece of change you’ve witnessed, and it won’t be the last. Treatment is part of the process, not the destination… The most important thing we can say about supporting your loved one’s treatment can be summed up in five words: keep doing what you’re doing (p. 247).” Foote, Wilkens, Koskane and Higgs in Beyond Addiction

“Something indeed was happening in David through his troubled marriage. God was teaching David personal lessons on how to grow and to become more and more like Jesus. God was teaching David how to be more loving, even when Julie didn’t love him in return. He was teaching David how to forgive, even when Julie never apologized. He was showing David how he could overcome evil with good and how to be content in all things. These things could not be learned from a book or in the context of marital bliss, but in hardship (p. 15-16).” Leslie Vernick in How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong

“Progress happens each time you attempt to change the way you respond to a difficult situation. Whether your attempt is completely, partially, or not at all successful, having made the effort weakens the negative, unproductive habit pattern that you have practiced in the past (p. 92).” Robert Meyers and Brenda Wolfe in Get Your Loved One Sober