Question: After I learned of my husband’s infidelity, I began your nine step study called “True Betrayal.” I found it helpful and started to get some hope back until my husband would not cooperate with the full disclosure exercise in step two. Actually, he will barely answer any of my questions now because he says, “It will only upset me.” I think he’s still lying and hiding his sin. Can your materials still help me? If so, how?

*This question is equally relevant when a wife will not be honest to husband our her sexual sin. Neither sexual sin nor the answer to this question is gender-specific.

Resources: Here are several resources that can be useful in preparing for of following up with the conversation discussed in this VLOG post.

  • True Betrayal: This is a video based nine step resource for those whose spouse is caught in sexual sin (from pornography to adultery).
  • False Love: This is a video based nine step resource for those, single or married, who are caught in sexual sin (from pornography to adultery).
  • How Specific Should a Spouse be Confessing Sexual Sin?: This is a blog that offers a 5 minute video by David Powlison and specific guidance on this question.
  • Self-Centered Spouse: This is blog series that seeks to answer the question, “What do I do when my spouse is so aggressively or passively self-centered that it is hard to have a normal relationship?”
  • To Speak or Not to Speak: This a section from chapter three of the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Communication” seminar that looks at how Scripture calls us to respond to various levels of offenses.
  • Unfaithful: This is an excellent book by Gary and Mona Shriver which tells their story of overcoming the pain and relational damage of infidelity.

To review the other questions addressed in this VLOG series click here.

Note: The VLOG (video-blog) Q&A is a regular series on my blog. If you would like to submit a question, it can be e-mailed to Summit’s admin over counseling at (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail). Please limit your questions to 3-7 sentences. This is not a forum for to request or receive counseling. No responses will be sent to questions other than those selected for a video response.

If this post was beneficial for you, then consider reading other blogs from my “Favorite Posts on Pornography” post which address other facets of this subject.

A recommendation for anyone struggling with pornography is to install internet accountability software on all of your electronic devices. An excellent provider of this software is Covenant Eyes. Their ministry provides a many articles, for which I am a frequent contributor, for you continued growth and encouragement