A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“[Pride] is purely spiritual: consequently it is far more subtle and deadly. For the same reason, Pride can often be used to beat down the simpler vices. Teachers, in fact, often appeal to a boy’s Pride, or, as they call it, his self-respect, to make him behave decently: many a man has overcome cowardice, or lust, or ill-temper, by learning to think that they are beneath his dignity—that is, by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride. (p. 125).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
I think this quote boils down to trying to understand with what’s so wrong with thinking that sin is “beneath me”? If someone is “pro-pride,” they probably aren’t reading this reflection. Few people have a problem with acknowledging that Satan would love to see us lay down a less destruction sin for a more destructive one.
So the point that makes this quote uncomfortable is that Lewis depicts it as Satan’s ultimate setup to get me to view sin as “beneath me.” I find myself internally torn on this one. My gut doesn’t automatically go where Lewis goes, but I agree with the point he’s making. I have given myself the “you’re better than that” pep talk to avoid sin.
As I wrestle with Lewis’ warning about pride, I realize there is a better pep talk to give (and receive). It is the “that is not who you are” talk. The first pep talk was focused on rank and status – better than. The latter is based on identity.
The difference, as I think Lewis would affirm, is that Jesus did not come to make much of me (rank and status) but to reside in me and adopt me (change my identity and name). When I get this I realize sin is not “beneath me” it is “outside of me.” I was born “in sin” and now I am “in Christ.”
The reason that sin is resisted has less to do with my dignity and everything to do with His. If I begin to think about my dignity, Satan has half the battle won. I am comparing sin to me. Sin does not appear nearly as sinful when I compare it with my nature.
The more I marvel at my nature, the dingier my nature becomes and the less I am looking to Christ as my righteousness. Disdain for every sin that is not actively relying upon Christ is the epitome of being a Pharisee—loving the laws that make me look good, because they make me look good and give me status.
If I were to summarize Lewis’s point and application, it would be: If Satan cannot get us to love self by sinning, then he is content to get us to love self by feeling superior to sin. God calls us to find life by denying self and, thereby, experiencing the freedom God intended.
An example might be helpful. Lewis says we can overcome cowardice by pride and this would be a bad thing. The problem would be that you would have to convince yourself you are “above” what you fear. If you fear rejection, then “it wouldn’t matter what people say.” This has the strong potential of giving us deaf ears to important messages of critique.
However, if what people say matters but does not define who I am, then I can be steadfast without the deafening influence of pride. I could face my fear as real, learning from my fear and the words of critique, without having to condemn myself or those who raise questions. That is the freedom of humility.
Posted 3 weeks, 5 days ago at 11:29 am. Add a comment
A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“I admit that this means loving people who have nothing lovable about them. But then, has oneself anything lovable about it? You love it simply because it is yourself. God intends us to love all selves in the same way and for the same reason: but He has given us the sum ready worked out in our own case to show us how it works. We have then to go on and apply the rule to all the other selves (p. 120).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
There is beautiful discomfort in this quote. It is simultaneously offensive and relieving. I want to rebuttal, “What do you mean that there is nothing lovable in me? What do you mean God made it that way so I would be able to love the unlovable in others?”
But at the same time I want give a relieved sigh and say, “You mean I don’t have to ‘keep it together’? There really isn’t this perpetual pressure to be ‘good enough’ for God?”
I want the beauty of the gospel without the discomfort. I want the relief without the offense. But we simply cannot have it both ways. We want to figure out a way to overcome our insecurity without having to extend the same unmerited grace to others.
The most common approach is to do away with the biblical category of our sinful nature. Somehow we want to say that “everyone is really good” but also “nobody’s perfect” (awkward contradiction not beautiful discomfort). We try to build our self-esteem by saying that our nature is good, but then get defensive when our sinfulness breaks through our idealistic veneer and reveals our real nature.
Lewis acknowledges our sinfulness, but does not succumb to a sense of self-condemnation. His acknowledgement that there is nothing good in us to love does not cause him to sound pessimistic, negative, or hopeless. He still speaks of love and God’s design to teach us how to love with a sense of optimistic hopefulness.
In this regard, I believe we can learn as much from Lewis’ style and tone as his content. He makes a very unpopular point is the most palatable way. Lewis forces me to see my total depravity and lack of deserving love in a way that keeps the focus on God’s love and design.
I walk away thinking, “God allows me to respond to me the way I do – seeking my preservation and best interest in spite of my failure because of a love for self that is stronger than my dislike for self – so that I can learn how to love others like He loves all of us.”
I am not called to relinquish that care for self. But I am called to see that it is a faint picture of His love for me. It is a clue left in my soul meant to cause me to question, “Why would I respond to myself this way when it’s so hard to respond to anyone else this way?”
Either we are more selfish than we realize – giving ourselves advantage we won’t give anyone else. In which case, any sense of affection for self is continued self-delusion. Or, we are following a design left in us by our Creator, after the Fall, to give us a first-person experience of what His love for us is like. In this case, we follow this self-affection away from ourselves back to the source from which it came.
Let us follow Lewis’ example and realize that God’s truth always unravels very personal parts of our life struggles. When we walk to God’s truth through these questions and struggles, then even when the answers are offensive they will bring awkward comfort that leaves us trusting God more.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago at 12:24 pm. Add a comment
A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“For a long time I used to think this a silly, straw-splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life—namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated these things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things (p. 117).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Is the primary problem of the human condition that I don’t love myself enough (low self-esteem) or that I love myself too much (pride)? That is a question that can stir a great deal of debate.
I would contend that the fervor of the debate itself reveals that the scales tip toward pride. If low self-esteem were really the core human ailment, then we would timidly defer to one another and our disagreements would be mousy.
When reading the larger works of C.S. Lewis you will find that he sides on the pride side of this debate. However, here he is discussing self-love in a way that is distinct from pride. He does not seem to denigrate the self-love he describes here as pride (nor do I think he should).
Lewis describes this healthy self-love as hating the sin in my life because it destroys something that was intended to be good – namely self.
This points helps to answer one of the strongest points made by critics of the self-esteem movement (and I count myself in that number) – self-esteem assumes that we are basically good people who only do bad things because of negative outside influences. Scripture clearly teaches the opposite. We are people marred by sin who naturally love darkness instead of light (John 3:16-21).
Yet Lewis’ depiction of healthy self-love allows for a fundamental moral brokenness in the human race. His take on self-love still allowed him to admit, “I was the sort of man who did those things.” No silly, illogical excuses like, “You know I didn’t mean it,” or “I only behaved that way because…,” or “That wasn’t really me who did/said that.”
I believe it is instructive to see how Lewis got to this view of self-love. He got there by thinking of others. He wanted to know how you could hate the sin and love the sinner. Taking the Second Great Commandment seriously led him to consider the one example where he already obeyed it. Coincidentally, it was the example Jesus said to use – love others “as” (implying something that is already naturally occurs) you love yourself (Matt. 22:39).
It was from this example that he got an answer to his question: how do you hate the sin and love the sinner? Answer: You are grieved for how sin destroys the life of the sinner. Even when the sinner gets an advantage or pleasure from his/her sin, you are grieved that sin’s addictive roots are being reinforced.
How is this love? It is love, because all grief is rooted in love. You will only grieve after you have loved. You are saddened because of an obstruction in a desired joy. In this case, another person’s good.
So let us realize that we love ourselves naturally even when we are made miserable by our actions. Our misery actually reveals our love for self – we genuinely desire our good. After realizing this let us love others with that same desire for their good. That is the only thing that will prevent a healthy self-love from becoming pride, self-centeredness, or self-preoccupation (insecurity).
Posted 2 months, 1 week ago at 12:10 pm. Add a comment
A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first—wanting to be the center—wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan; and that was the sin he taught the human race (p. 49).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
In our day, if you do not put yourself first, then you are said to be mistreating yourself. Lewis is saying that this is the opposite of Christian teaching – even going so far as to say that it is the first and great lie of Satan. That will surely get a defensive reaction from many readers (maybe even you), but let’s think for a minute about what is being said.
Lewis is not saying, “Hate yourself,” but since we live in such a “love-me-first world” when someone says putting yourself first is bad, we tend to react that way. Until we can see that there are other (many other) options between “hate yourself” and “put yourself first,” then we are impaired from hearing what Lewis or God (not that the two are equivalent) have to say.
For many readers, there will be the need to pause here and let that concept sink in before reading further.
Lewis is saying that we must put pleasing God ahead of our own perceived happiness. “Doesn’t God want me to be happy?” is not sound logic for justifying non-biblical behavior. The answer in that case is, “No, God doesn’t want you to be happy as you are defining it, because you have a deficient view of happiness from which God is trying to rescue you.”
“But I don’t want to be rescued. I think my definition of happiness is just fine,” might be your reply. Exactly! Because you have put yourself and your view of life first, God’s definition of happiness is no longer good enough for you because believe you know better than God what will make you happy.
When we believe that there is a happiness to be had apart from God, we have radically misunderstood God – His person and not just His ways. We do not follow God’s rules in order to arrive at happiness. This would assume that happiness was a place and God was one of the guides (or even the best guide among others) who wrote our directions in the form of the Bible.
By contrast, God is the destination of our pursuit of happiness. When we put God first, we have centered our life on happiness. When we put ourselves first, we have centered our life on the fickleness of our own tastes, opinion, wisdom, and ability to control circumstances.
“But why don’t I always experience happiness when I pursue God?” is the natural (and good) question that comes in reply. We do not always experience happiness when we pursue God because the world is broken, not because God is broken (in error or holding out on us).
It is as if we have an appointment and when we arrive we find the office closed. We look at our watch and feel offended that the person forgot our appointment. Yet we do not consider whether our watch is broken. God wants to challenge our watch (happiness-tracking device). He says it is broken by the effects of sin and only He is the reliable source of telling right time (finding true joy).
In conclusion, I would simply ask, “After several decades of intensely teaching to ‘love yourself first’ has our culture become a happier culture? Has the rate of depression, divorce, substance abuse, or suicide gone down or up?”
Posted 1 year ago at 2:12 pm. Add a comment
God Our Father & Adoption (1:2-5)
We often have a tendency to try to apply biblical metaphors backwards. We start with what we know and assume it is the “real” thing and then assume it is a bigger version of what we do know. So when we hear that God is our Father we make God a bigger version of what we know.
It would be more accurate to come at this metaphor (and most others) from the other direction. God is the epitome of what “father” is/should be. Our experience only gives us glimpses of the real thing. It is like a child playing with a toy castle. The toy castle has enough features to activate the young person’s imagination, but offers no protection from enemies or shelter from rain.
Application: In seeking to know God as Father, strive to give him the basic courtesy of getting to know Him for who He is. We consider it rude when someone says, “I know you. You are a teenager (Southerner, Yankee, of Christian, etc…).” When we force the experience of someone else (even our earthly fathers) on God, we dishonor him in a similar way.
That We Should Be Holy (1:4)
What should we expect to be the primary result of our salvation? How we answer that question will determine whether we think Christianity “works” and how much we enjoy our Christian life. I would contend that many are disappointed (even angry) with God because they thought their salvation was “about” something other than what God said it was about. They feel like the Gospel was a bait and switch because they did not consider what God was saving them from.
God did not save us from unhappiness, a lack of purpose, a low self-image, fragmented relationships, physical pain, or financial hardship. God saved us from our sin and the eternal punishment our sin deserved. Therefore, the primary result of our salvation is holiness – the eradication of sin and sin’s effects from our actions, thoughts, emotions, and motives. If we miss this, we may well spend most of our time in prayer distracting ourselves from what God most wants to do in our lives.
Application: Our calling is to find joy in what God is doing on our behalf. Unless we find joy in what God is doing on our behalf, we live in pride believing we know better than God what is in our best interest. However, as we cooperate with God’s goal of holiness we find that our life is marked by greater joy, purpose, confidence, relational harmony, grace adequate for our suffering, and contentment. The great challenge is to allow God to define the “abundant life” (John 10:10).
Lavished… In Wisdom
(BCH_Eph1A_handout for Printable PDF Handout)
We can rest in the fact that neither the Bible nor God’s character contain contradictions, but they both contain some strong tensions. Consider the consecutive phrases in Ephesians 1:8 that God lavishes grace upon us but does so in all wisdom. We would find it quite hard to “lavishly love” and yet do so “with all wisdom.” Yet balance and harmony between virtues is the essence of holiness. The most amazing thing about God is not that he is great in every aspect, but that there is no friction between the aspects of His greatness.
Look at the following list of virtues. Circle the ones you consider personal strengths. Underline the ones you consider personal weaknesses. Try to identify where your weaknesses are exaggerations of or results from your strengths.
Love Personal Grace Good Patient Attentive Free Productive Beauty Joy Wise Order Peace Honest Just Power Influence Control Hope Efficient Respect Understanding Unity Rest Fun Affirming
From this examination, I would encourage two things. First, let it cause you to marvel afresh at the balanced holiness of God’s character. Second, let it give you a new way of thinking about pursuing holiness and how holiness can be expressed.
Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG POST: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago at 12:50 pm. Add a comment
Confidence is a word that is almost hard to say without the prefix “self.” Culturally, we are taught that self-confidence is the answer to almost every struggle in life.
This article takes a different look at the subject. It describes how confidence, if it is to be healthy and lasting, must be rooted in Christ not self.
In brief the article defines confidence as “the demeanor that exhibits a positive expectation that God will enables us to accomplish any good work He calls us to do.” Our goal with confidence is to rest in God’s enabling for what He calls us to do and not surrender to insecurity concerning things He has not called or gifted us to do.
To download the full article click here.
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 4:37 pm. Add a comment
Culturally, we are told that if we could love ourselves more that would solve most of our life struggles. Jesus said that the starting point of discipleship was to deny ourselves (Luke 9:23). Culturally we are told that we must love ourselves before we can love anyone else. Paul said that we must count others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
This can lead to much confusion as Christian try to harmonize these two sets of instructions. The article below seeks to provide guidance on the subject.
Start with this reflection. What kind of word is self-esteem: noun, verb, or adjective? Is self-esteem more like that word power (noun), strong (adjective), or weight-lifting (verb)? Is self-esteem something you want (noun), an description you want to be true of you (adjective), or a way to pursue something (verb)?
The article below introduces the idea that self-esteem is a verb. It is a theory concerning human behavior that instructs people (rightly or wrongly) on how to pursue things like confidence, identity, security, purpose, and wisdom (nouns). The question is, “Does self-esteem provide a path that will help us arrive at those destinations?”
If you are intrigued and want to consider the matter further, you can read the entire article.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago at 2:43 pm. Add a comment
Church and State (v. 17)
Jesus was (and is) a master of catching deceitful people in their own traps (Galatians 6:7). But this answer does much more than reveal Jesus’ clever use of rhetoric. It is a foundational statement regarding the role of the sacred and civil (see also Romans 13:-17; I Timothy 2:1-6; Titus 3:1-2; and 2 Peter 2:13-17).
Civil authority plays (or at least should play) a role of common grace in society. Government should punish those who violate others and create a setting where those who honor others have opportunity to succeed.
Caesar was doing this quite imperfectly. The Jews longed for a political/military Messiah to undo this oppression. However, even in this context, Jesus responds, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”
Reflection One: How does government (marked by the fall and human greed/error) still serve as a conduit of God’s common grace? Do you regularly thank God for the structures of society that allow for relative order, peace, predictability, and planning?
Reflection Two: We tend to closely align our lives to government expectations (i.e., laws, taxes, holidays, etc…). This is “giving Caesar what is Caesar’s.” Do you also manage your life equally in keeping with God’s expectations (i.e., values regarding morals, relationships, money, rest, etc…)? This contrast can also be understood in terms of the “Fear/Trust of Man” versus the “Fear/Trust of the Lord.” See Jeremiah 17:5-10 for more on this contrast.
Two Commands or Three?
(Click Here for Printable PDF Handout)
A big question in our day is whether you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else, or whether we all naturally do what we believe will make us happy and should treat others the same way. As you look at Mark 12:29-31 (and the corresponding Matthew 22:37-40), consider the following question – How many commands does Jesus say there are? Two
But what do we do to make of “as yourself”? If we flip the commands to mean we have to love self before we can love neighbor (command three before two), we would also have to say we must love neighbor before we can love God (command two before our added third command). This does not seem right.
We begin with a recognition that we can only love (at all; anyone) because God first loved us (I John 4:19). Love is naturally focused outside itself (Philippians 2:1-11) and we are naturally self-centered. You have to teach a child to say “please” and “thank you” not “no” and “mine.”
Then we look at another use of a similar phrase in Ephesians 5:28, “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.” It is not very romantic to love your wife after loving yourself. That hardly seems in keeping with the sacrificial tone of Ephesians 5.
Finally, we look at a passage like 2 Timothy 3:2 where Paul says that the first mark of people in the last days will be that they “will be lovers of themselves.” As the first item on the list this defines all the other items in the same way that love marks all of the fruit of the Spirit.
From this we can conclude, Jesus assumes we naturally do what we think will make us happy. The problem then is that we are more likely foolish or deceived rather than lacking self-love. Our actions may in fact be to our detriment. This may emerge from what we believe about ourselves, others, and God. The solution, however, is to seek wisdom and clarity so that our actions (which we believe to be in our best interest) will actually bless us. Without this wisdom and clarity our ability to love God and neighbor will be severely hampered.
A Sincere Man in Hostile Times (v. 34)
Jesus’ words here are quite remarkable. The content of His words were simple enough. He could tell from a brief conversation with this questioner that he was “not far from the kingdom of God.” It is not the content but the context that is amazing.
Jesus was in the midst of being assaulted by a series of verbal traps. The Pharisees tried (v. 13-17). Then the Sadducees tried (v. 18-27). In the same dialogue this teacher walks up and asks “another” question. However, Jesus responded to the question and the questioner independent from the context.
Reflection Questions: When have you recently lumped one question/circumstance in with its neighboring questions/circumstances? When are you most prone to do this? With whom are you most prone to do this? Pray that you will be more Christ-like in your ability to treat each moment, circumstance, and person on its own merit.
Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“
Posted 2 years ago at 3:52 am. Add a comment
Neither High nor Low Self-Esteem (v. 35)
You can only see what your questions allow to be revealed. If you ask bad questions, then you will never even consider good answers. In our day and age there is a strong tendency to read this passage and debate self-esteem. However, I believe this would miss the point entirely. To borrow from the opening line of Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life, “It’s not about us.”
Jesus asks, “If anyone wants to be first,” implying this is not a bad desire. Greatness is not a sinful pursuit. It is the definition of greatness that makes it holy or evil; a blessing or a curse. Jesus says the blessed definition of greatness is servanthood. The less self-preoccupied we become, the more free we are to experience/express the love, joy, and peace that God has for us because our focus has returned to what it was always meant to be.
Reflection: When you hear the concept of self-forgetfulness as the door to true, lasting happiness, what fears or cautions come to mind? How is this concept different from many notions of self-esteem (pride, vanity, competition) and forced humility (negative, self-critical, unable to receive complements)?
Whoever Is Not Against Us (v. 40)
After Jesus spoke of welcoming others in his name, the disciples asked about a “competing” teacher, “Do you want us to welcome him too (v. 38 paraphrased)?” Jesus answer (again paraphrased), “There should be no competition between messengers but only between messages (see also Philippians 1:15-18).”
Reflection: What are the key beliefs that comprise true Christianity? In our day of denominations and non-denominations what would be the essential beliefs and practices that Jesus would consider “in my name (v. 41)”? Is it your tendency to be too combative or uninformed on these types of questions?
Practice: When you are studying Scripture and forming beliefs divide your beliefs not only by topic (salvation, Jesus, church, etc…) but also by importance. I would advise the following four categories of importance:
- Highest: Those beliefs essential to being a Christian and inheriting eternal
- Second: Those beliefs which should be agreed upon in order to have harmonious fellowship in the same church.
- Third: Those beliefs which one should seek to have personal convictions on, but should not divide fellowship.life. What are those matters which are a matter of heaven and hell if one is right or wrong?
- Fourth: Those beliefs which are unclear and can only be considered using inference or implication.
A Radical Refocusing
(Click Here for Printable PDF Handout)
In the Gospel of Mark Jesus approaches the discussion of the “radical amputation of sin (9:43-47) flowing from a discussion of unity amongst believers. The transition thought is, “Who is our true enemy?”
A. Those with whom we disagree (9:38)
B. Those whose ministry rivals our own (9:33)
C. Those who receive privileged status (9:2)
D. The sin that interferes with God’s kingdom in us (9:47)
Jesus refocuses the disciples’ attention to answer D. Jesus is harnessing the competitive energies the disciples were unleashing on one another and strangers to the “enemy within.” Hence he concludes, “Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other (v. 50).”
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I approach most passionately or aggressively?
- What does the intensity of this pursuit reveal about me?
- What methods of preparation do I use in this pursuit?
- How did those methods of preparation develop?
- What skills have I learned and mastered in this pursuit?
- How long did this process take?
- What made the effort worth it to me?
Take those answers and now apply them to the areas of sin that you most commonly struggle with. Allow God to redirect your natural passions and interests (not to imply they are wrong) to inform, illuminate, and motivate your battle with sin.
Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“
Posted 2 years ago at 3:46 am. Add a comment
