This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on Jonah 4 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday January 28-29, 2012.
When you have gotten to know someone decently well you begin to know what pushes their buttons, gets under their skin, and their pet peeves. Rarely can we hide from others what really makes us tick for long. It shows up as our agitation, anxiety, awkward silence, drive, outspokenness, sensitivities, and quirks.
The things that stir our souls reveal important things about us. When people show us emotion, their beliefs, values, and hopes are on display (Luke 6:45). These are precious and powerful moments. These are moments when friendships are forged and lives are changed. Seeing Jesus’ relevance in these moments in the gospel is most relevant.
Unfortunately, these are also the times when there is a strong tendency to back away from people. We find these moments intimidating, uncomfortable, or “personal.” While nothing of significance should be approached cavalierly, neither should moments of such influence be ignored.
The question is, “How do we engage these moments with the honor they deserve while seeking to maximize the potential they hold?” I will offer some suggestions on how to approach these moments to engage gospel conversations.
Ask a good question. It can be as simple as an observation, “That was really important to you.” Maybe you ask, “What did you like/dislike most about that?” Just don’t let the question get in the way. Make it short and an acknowledgement that you’re interested in what is significant to them.
Honor push back. Interest is one door to winning trust; honor is another. If the other person is uncomfortable, let the question rest. We model Christ’s compassion when we do not force our concern upon them and are not offended if they are not open to the conversation.
Show genuine interest. Evangelism should never be a “technique.” Nobody wants an unsolicited counselor. If you cut quickly to what you really wanted to talk about (i.e., Jesus), you risk insulting the person you are seeking to reach.
Don’t try to complete the journey in one conversation. This is relational evangelism. If you are able to put their concern/passion into words and they say, “Thank you! Finally somebody gets it,” that is a huge win. You are an ambassador (2 Cor. 5:20). Ambassadors know the value of trust and learning culture (emotions are “personal culture”) for delivering an impactful message.
Listen for sin and suffering. When we seek to share the gospel through the window of emotion we must know how the gospel speaks to sin and suffering. We need to be able to offer God’s forgiveness and comfort. The “idols of our hearts” are sought for both pleasure and refuge. For on how the gospel speaks to sin and suffering, see these two videos.
Listen for how you’re like them. Testimony is uniquely important in these kinds of gospel conversations. You may not have the same “driving desires” (idols) linked to the same historical influences with the same emotional response. But chances are you can relate to the pattern – heart set on [blank overgrown desire] that is important to you because [historical reason] so you [emotional response]. People are not as different as we like to think we are.
As a Christian, you should be able to talk about how the gospel has changed the way you respond to those moments – how Christ’s Lordship put overgrown good desires back in proportion, is transforming the way you understand shaping events, and is creating stability in your emotions (for an example of this applied to anger/conflict click here). You just shared the gospel. Now all you need to do is to ask if they are interested in a similar relationship with Christ.
Continue having “normal” conversations. The freedom of the gospel is expressed (in part) by the fact that while Christ comes to us in our weakest moments we are not defined by those moments. Be God’s ambassador in this way as well. You are inviting them to be a part of God’s family (where people are defined by their relationships), not God’s recovery group (where people are defined by their struggle). This is someone you know them well enough that they allowed you to see their soul; honor that by showing concern for their whole life.
Posted 1 day, 2 hours ago at 12:17 pm. Add a comment
This resource is taken from the “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery” seminar notebook (February 12, 2012; 5:00 to 8:00 pm; The Summit Church, Brier Creek South Venue; 2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703; Free – No RSVP Needed).
Instructions: Read the following descriptive statements. As you read them, think of your total experience of sexual sin; not just where you think you are “now” after committing to change. The purpose of this evaluation is to give a complete picture of what needs to be changed. Any dishonesty on this evaluation will severely impair your ability to overcome sexual sin and live in healthy, real relationships. Mark the answer that best fits how you respond:
(N) almost never, (R) rarely, (S) sometimes,
(F) frequently, or (A) almost always.
When completing this evaluation, it is important to note that “sexual” or “attractive” do not have to mean visual. They are meant to carry the broader connotation of the word “intimate.” This involves both closeness and excitement.
Click here for 67 question assessment tool and scoring key: Sexual Sin Assessment
The progression of this evaluation goes from objectifying people, public visual lust, private narrative lust, soft pornography, hard pornography, interaction with a real anonymous person, emotional affair without touch, sexual touching without sex, one time affair, affair in an ongoing relationship, pseudo-marriage affair, illegal sexual activity, and same sex attraction. However, this progression is not meant to imply that this is the developmental cycle of sexual sin.
There is adultery that did not begin with pornography. Pornography does not necessarily lead to adultery. The purpose of the progression is to provide the rational for why Jesus would teach that to look at someone with “lustful intent” is a form of or seed for adultery. While the progression is not an inevitable slippery slope, reading the descriptions of the full journey into lustful depravity should sober you towards your sin. Figure 1 provides a visual of the “small steps” between lust and adultery.
1. Objectifying A Person: Reducing people to a certain set of appealing features and measuring people’s value by how much they please you.
2. Public Visual Lust: Using the objectification above as a scoring system and savoring actual people.
3. Private Narrative Lust: Allowing the scoring system to develop into a story in which you interact with someone in your imagination.
4. “Soft” Porn: Using television or catalogs to provide more “choice” but non-nude objects of lust and imagination.
5. Full Porn: Pursuing nude images and videos on the internet or other media forms and having the imagination expanded by professional “story tellers.” The frequency, duration, and perversion of this activity can vary.
6. Interaction With a Real, Anonymous Person: The other participant in the story becomes a real person with a real voice and a free will. This can be 1 (900) numbers, provocative chat rooms, strip club, or “sexting.”
7. Emotional Relationship with a Known Person Without Touch: No longer is the other real person unknown. They have a real name, face, and history. They know your real name, face, and history.
8. Emotional Affair with Touch, Without Sex: This is probably the rarest item on the list, although it is frequently said to exist. This is a relationship with a real person with kissing, massage, and other non-intercourse affections.
9. One Time Sexual Affair: Now the intercourse barrier has been crossed, but (as in the case of a prostitute or drunken business trip fling) the relational connection may be low.
10. Affair in Connected Relationship: In terms of marital threat, the sexual affair is now secondary to the deepening “love” between the spouse and adultery partner. Sex is no longer a mere expression of passion, but also devotion.
11. Affair as Pseudo-Spouse / Leaving: No longer is the faithful spouse making the decision regarding divorce. The unfaithful spouse is the active party seeking to dissolve the marriage in order to pursue their adultery partner.
Read Matthew 5:21-30. In this passage Jesus deals with two subjects—anger and lust—in the same way: identify the heart issue, warn against the full grown sin, and call for radical action even at great personal cost. If your instinct is to rebuttal that people should not face prison time or execution for common anger, you are both right and completely missing the point. Jesus is warning you not instructing your spouse. If you focus on what Jesus did not mean (even if you are correct), you will neglect what He is saying to you… personally… right now… in this passage. Jesus is saying, “Take whatever steps are necessary to remove lust from your life. Unless your excuse is of greater consequence than losing an eye or hand, it is just that—an excuse.” The question before you now and throughout this study is, “Am I wanting to hear from God to receive words of life or am I distracting myself by arguing with the words of others?” With that question in mind, score your evaluation.
Question: Am I a sex addict? Is “sexual addiction” even a real thing? Would that make my sexual activity not sinful? The relational dynamic of sexual sin complicates the traditional view of addiction, even if you adhere to a disease model. Many of the books referenced in this study use the language of addiction (we reference these books because they have valuable insight into the description and assessment of sexual sin struggles). The False Love materials use the term addiction to refer to a life-dominating sin struggle, but do not believe that all sexual sin addressed in this study are necessarily mean you are an addict. If you wonder if your sexual sin has an addictive quality, answer the ten questions below. The more items you mark “yes” the more life-dominating your sexual sin has become.
“This is the way sin always is. It will always demand more of you. And meanwhile, as you have been more or less certain that you’ve been controlling your sin, it has actually been controlling you. Subtly, unrelentingly, it has reshaped your mind and your heart in very real ways (p. 21).” Tim Challies in Sexual Detox
- Repeated failure to resist sexual impulses
- The amount of time and degree of offensiveness of your sexual sin is increasing
- Unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control your sexual sin
- Spend a significant amount of time obtaining sex or arousal
- Preoccupied with sex, sexual behavior, sexual humor, or planning for next arousal episode
- Engaging in sexual behavior when it interferes with job, school, home, or social expectations
- Continue sexual behavior when it negatively impacts marriage, social, emotional, or spiritual life
- Increasing in intensity, frequency, depravity, or risk is necessary to obtain the desired effect
- Sacrificing social, recreational, or other healthy outlets for sexual release or relationship
- Experience distress, anxiety, restlessness, or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior
Posted 3 days, 4 hours ago at 10:48 am. Add a comment
The presentation of the “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery” seminar will be Sunday February 12, 2012 from 5:00 to 8:00 pm at The Summit Church Brier Creek South Venue (2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703; Free – No RSVP Needed).
Below is the material needed to complete the “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery” program at The Summit Church (Durham, NC). If you are interested in studying this material as a part of a recovery program, which we call Freedom Groups, please click here for more information and to get connected.
From this material we offer four ministry options: (1) Married Men’s Purity Group, (2) Single Men’s Purity Group, (3) Women’s Purity Group, and (4) meeting with a supervised graduate counseling intern for personal counseling.
NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. Summit members can pick up a copy of the notebook in the church office. For those outside the Summit family, you can request a copy from Amy LaBarr ([email protected]), office administrator over counseling.
STEP 1.
ADMIT I have a struggle I cannot overcome without God.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
For the “Sexual Sin Evaluation” assessment click here: Sexual Sin Assessment
For the “Pride vs. Brokenness” appendix click here:
For the “How to End an Extra-Marital Relationship” appendix click here:
STEP 2.
ACKNOWLEDGE the breadth and impact of my sin.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
For the “How to Talk to Children When Sexual Sin Affects the Family” appendix click here: Appendix Talking to Children When Sexual Sin Affects the Family
STEP 3.
UNDERSTAND the origin, motive, and history of my sin.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
For the “Sexual Sin Journal” from click here: Sexual Sin Journal
STEP 4.
REPENT TO GOD for how my sin replaced and misrepresented Him.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
STEP 5.
CONFESS TO THOSE AFFECTED for harm done and seek to make amends.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
For the “Sexual Sin Confession Guide” click here: Confession Guide for Sexual Sin
STEP 6.
RESTRUCTURE MY LIFE to rely on God’s grace and Word to transform my life.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
STEP 7.
IMPLEMENT the new structure pervasively with humility and flexibility.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
For the “Implementation Evaluation Tool” click here: Sexual Sin Plan Eval Form
STEP 8.
PERSEVERE in the new life and identity to which God has called me.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
STEP 9.
STEWARD all of my life for God’s glory.
Video Segment Will Be Placed Here (thank you for your patience)
Posted 4 days, 2 hours ago at 12:22 pm. 1 comment
A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all (p. 128).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
This is my favorite description of humility, because it takes the focus off of humility; which is what I think humility would want if you asked it. When I finish reading the quote, humility feels like freedom more than a standard to achieve.
Yet there is great practicality in the description. A baseline question for determining humility is, “How well do I listen to others?” Listening is an action that bestows honor on others without sacrificing personal dignity or enjoyment.
I think most people get this instinctually. When we are around someone we highly esteem and they ask us a question, we feel honored. We think more fondly of them because they would be interested in our thoughts on the subject. We simultaneously admire their humility and awe at their strength.
Which is why I find it odd that I so naturally thought of humility in the ways in which Lewis caricaturized it. I thought of humility as weakly avoiding eye contact while deferring every compliment and downplaying every accomplishment. I would have never taught it that way but I did “see” it that way.
Part of that is undoubtedly the distortion of my sinful nature. The corruption of my heart would never define something as wholesome and life giving as humility in an appealing way. Culturally, I think this is why so many people who say they want a “high self-esteem” would rather have the “freedom of humility” if they tasted both.
The question becomes what frees me from listening with genuine interest in others (a mark of true humility) rather than listening through the lens of insecurity (pride in its fearful form)? The answer is simply when someone gracious, dependable, and with a heart for the world has become the most important person in my life—namely, God.
In order to be humble the most important person in my life must be gracious. I will fail many times. After all, “nobody’s perfect.” Unless the most important person in my world is gracious, my failures (shame, anger, or blame-shifting) will kill humility.
In order to be humble the most important person in my life must be dependable. Life changes. After all, “nothing stays the same.” Unless the most important person in my world is dependable, anticipating the future (fear or greed) will kill humility.
In order to be humble the most important person in my life must have a heart for the world. I will imitate the most important person in my life. Therefore, unless the most important person in my world cares deeply for people I won’t either. In the end, Jesus is the embodiment of humility (Philippians 2:1-11) and the key to my humility.
Posted 5 days, 2 hours ago at 12:13 pm. Add a comment
This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on Jonah 3 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday January 21-22, 2012.
Jonah’s hesitancy to share the gospel with Nineveh had nothing to do with self-doubt or God-doubt. Actually, it was just the opposite. Jonah feared that if he called Nineveh to repent that they would repent and God would forgive (4:1-3). Jonah simply wanted Nineveh to receive justice rather than mercy so he resisted introducing them to the God he knew.
While there are some Christians who allow laziness or animosity to prevent them from sharing the good news they found in God, that is not the only reason Christians fail to share the gospel. I’ll leave it up to the reader to guess at what percentage of Christian failure to share the gospel results from laziness ( _____% ), animosity ( _____% ), self-doubt ( _____%), and God-doubt ( _____%).
But I think the more important question is not weighing the percentages of the Christian population, but dividing the motives of our individual hearts. What percentage of your failure to share the gospel results from laziness ( _____% ), animosity ( _____% ), self-doubt ( _____%), and God-doubt ( _____%).
This post wants to reflect on the two forms of discouragement that come when we share our faith and people do not respond. Did I fail (self-doubt)? Or, did God fail (God-doubt)? It is a natural question. When I try do something and it doesn’t work, I want to know, “What went wrong? Who/what failed?”
Some Christians, usually in a legitimate attempt to be humble, begin to think they were the problem. “I didn’t say the right thing, know the right verse, pray enough before, tell a funny enough story, or read my Bible enough. Or, I spoke too soon or wasn’t cool enough to win their respect.” Whatever rational is created, the bottom line in self-doubt is: I am the reason that person is still going to Hell.
In the end, self-doubt always exaggerates the role of the witness in evangelism. After all, Jonah’s message wasn’t that impressive (3:4) – eight words in English, only 5 words in Hebrew, and his heart wasn’t in it. He simple spoke the truth about God to people who needed to hear it. Evangelism that is “done” by an impressive speaker or argument will be “undone” by a more impressive speaker or argument.
Further, self-doubt focuses our attention on self rather than the person we’re talking to and the God we’re talking about. Self-doubt reduces our genuine interest in the person we’re talking to (fear always causes preoccupation) and our passion for the God we’re talking about. That is probably the best possible recipe for making something simple seem difficult.
Other Christians, begin to doubt God when their evangelism is ineffective. “Maybe God doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to bless what I’m doing. God likes other people better so He gives more fruit to their ministry. Maybe God isn’t as good as I thought He was if He didn’t do what I expected Him to do.” The thinking process can take many forms, but it boils down to either God doesn’t like me or God can’t be trusted.
Either way, the result is that we stop praying (especially for specific lost people that we are burdened to share Christ with) and stop sharing. The activity that should drive us to God and His Word—evangelism—begins to be the reason to avoid God and His Word, or at least intellectualize and privatize our faith.
The worst part of God-doubt is not the lack of evangelism; that is only the bitter fruit. The worst part is the functional belief in a sterile, distant God who becomes a moral score keeper instead of tender Father making an appeal to His lost children through His children who have returned. We begin to live as if God accepted us as His hired labor (Luke 15:18-19) instead of interrupting our repentance with lavish love and affection (Luke 15:20-24). We believe the lie we feared before we knew the truth.
Self-doubt and God-doubt both forget who we were before God saved us (people who resisted the truth), what God has done to make salvation possible (bearing the penalty of our sin and offering us Christ’s righteousness by grace), and how simple the message really is (Jesus in my place). We quit sharing the gospel with others regularly because we quit reminding ourselves of the gospel daily. If you struggle with self-doubt or God-doubt, then remind yourself daily of who you were, what God did, and how powerfully simple the gospel is.
Posted 1 week, 1 day ago at 11:27 am. Add a comment
How many times has a friend or family member of yours been affected by sexual sin – their own or their spouses’? How many times have you felt really uncomfortable, knowing you should say something, but not knowing what to say? With the current rates of pornography usage and extra-marital sex close to 100% of people could think of at least one occurrence of those situations in the last year.
As a church, we cannot pretend this issue does not exist, choose to remain ignorant on these subjects, or hide behind the excuse that these are private matters. Consider this warning given by Martin Luther:
“If you preach the gospel in all aspects with the exception of the issues that deal specifically with your time, you are not preaching the gospel at all.” Martin Luther as quoted by Tim Chester in Closing the Window (p. 10).
It is for this reason that the Summit counseling ministry is presenting two EQUIP seminars in February. These are free seminars. We hope that many people in our church and community will benefit from learning how the Gospel speaks to these epidemic struggles. Please invite anyone you believe would benefit from this material.
False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Lust to Adultery
February 12, 2012 // 5:00 to 8:00 pm
The Summit Church; Brier Creek South Venue
2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703
Free – No RSVP Needed
Lust is not a gender specific issue. Lust is not something “some people” struggle with. Lust is not a “phase we go through.” Lust is not a problem that getting married will solve. Lust may never go beyond your imagination, but still create a persistent dissatisfaction with your current relationships or marriage.
Or, lust may be life dominating. Lust may cause you to put your health, your spouse’s health, your job, or your reputation in jeopardy. Lust may lead you to lie and create a double life in ways that you would have never thought you would.
Regardless of your type or depth of struggle with lust or whether your are single or married the “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Lust to Adultery” seminar is designed to help you walk away from these fantasy-based relationships (yes, even adultery is a fiction and porn is a relationship) and move towards the pure, true love for others than God ordained.
True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin
February 19, 2012 // 5:00 to 8:00 pm
The Summit Church; Brier Creek South Venue
2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703
Free – No RSVP Needed
There is no way to prepare for the news that your spouse has been looking at pornography, is having an emotional affair, or is/has committing adultery. Yet even without being able to prepare, you are still forced to respond when the news hits.
Numbness, anger, despair, fear, jealousy, regret, denial, revenge, embarrassment, shame, questions of whether I ever really know the truth, lack of trust, loss of respect, and feelings of loss of permanence are all common responses. But how do you respond to those responses? How do you “move forward”? What is “forward” anyway?
The “True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin” seminar is intended to guide you through the emotional, mental, and relational dilemmas of your spouse’s sexual sin. It helps you answer the practical informational questions (i.e., What do I need to know? What should I expect from my spouse? Why is the “why” question so plaguing and hurtful?), and it walks you through the emotional pain that no answers to any questions will alleviate.
Posted 1 week, 3 days ago at 12:22 pm. 3 comments
A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“The devil loves ‘curing’ a small fault by giving you a great one (p. 127).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
It is easy to think that moving away from a problem is the same as moving towards something better. But this is the lie behind most of life’s devastating sins. No one runs face first into addiction. They run looking over their shoulder at a lesser problem and into the arms of addiction. Bankruptcy is what happens when you solve every problem (focal point) with your debt (blind spot).
It is easy to think that everyone who sympathizes with your problem is your friend. But this false assumption is the foundation for every scam. A drug dealer needing to make a sale will listen to your problems in order to pitch his “solution.” Sexual predators specialize in listening to hurting kids on social media to serve as an inroad to their trust.
This does not mean that all sympathy is dangerous or that progress is always a mirage. It does mean that our ability to change for the better is hampered when we focus exclusively on our struggle. When we focus on our struggle, even if we are disgusted by it, we get the false notion that different is the same as better.
When you focus on how dumb you are everyone else becomes smart. When you focus on how weak you are everyone else becomes strong. The problem is when you try to apply “their” wisdom, there is a strong probability it will fail and when you try to rely on “their” strength, it will let you down. By focusing upon faults we never gain an appreciation for what is truly wise, strong, and good.
Not only does Satan love to cure small faults with big ones (goal), he seals the deal by getting us lost in our faults (method). This is an ingenious way to blind those who can see. If Satan can get us to look for the wrong thing with great intensity, then we will miss, ignore, or reject the right thing even when we look right at it.
What do I mean? If Satan can get us so focused on our faults that we fail to look at Christ, then we are functionally blind to the wisdom, cure, strength, and hope we need. When we focus on our faults we feel dirty when we look at Christ instead of realizing He will cleanse us. When we focus on our faults we feel stupid when we look at Christ instead of realizing He offers wisdom.
It is by focusing us on our faults that Satan blinds our seeing eyes to true hope and, thereby, makes “greater faults” seem like the only “solution” available. Each time we apply Satan’s solutions we feel more stupid (retrospect proves we can see) and are more prone to use the next “desperate measure.” We feel more dirty and less apt to approach anything clean or pure.
So what do we do? We stop and look to Christ. We gaze at life itself. We marvel at life lived as God intended. We begin to live towards something instead of just away from our faults. We repent of our faults and accept that hope can only be received, not earned.
When this is done, greater faults and false compassion lose their appeal. Our vision is restored. While we may still fall many times, we fall forward towards Christ. We realize we repent instead of making “double or nothing” deals with life. We take sin more seriously but less frantically so that we resist Satan’s offer to exchange small faults with great ones.
Posted 1 week, 5 days ago at 2:08 pm. Add a comment
This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on Jonah 2 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday January 14-15, 2012.
What a sad description of people; even sadder because it is true. “Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love (Jonah 2:8).” From the belly of a great fish Jonah is reflecting on what led to his demise. It was “vain idols” that caused him to drift from trust in God’s love.
The scary part is that Jonah was a prophet who was still used by God as this drift occurred. It is doubtful that the disdain for Nineveh that caused him to put country and personal offense ahead of God started the moment “the word of the Lord came to Jonah (1:1).” How Jonah was responding to atrocities of Nineveh was likely source of the “vain” (empty, useless, without comparative worth) idol that caused him to forsake God’s steadfast love – “to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord (1:3).”
Jonah’s “great sin” of active rebellion fleeing in the opposite direction of God’s call began with a bad response to suffering (Nineveh’s violently oppressive actions against Israel and surrounding nations). Seeing depravity at it most vile made Jonah forget his own desperate need for God’s grace. When God wanted to extend the same grace Jonah received to Nineveh, Jonah balked and forsook the hope of God’s steadfast love.
Whether we can relate to Jonah’s overt, opposite-direction rebellion against God that resulted in “bottoming out” in a living submarine in the depth of sea, we can definitely relate to Jonah’s subtle, shocked-at-evil step into idolatry. We all know who “the really bad” people are and we’re not them. We hear about them on the news. We’re not rapists, terrorists, or pedophiles.
If we thought being a recipient of God’s grace put us in that category and called us to share the gospel with someone who raped our child or blew up our brother, we (at least I) would be very tempted to “forsake my hope of God’s steadfast love.” Bringing Jonah’s assignment into my world makes me want to look for the ship to Tarshish. I am Jonah! I might take a suicidal leap from a ship in the middle of the ocean before I would carry my Bible into that maximum security prison.
I would resent sharing the same grace. I would resent “sharing” in terms of being washed in the same Savior’s blood much less “sharing” in the form of being God’s ambassador of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:20). As this resentment built, I could see how forsaking the hope of God’s steadfast love and looking for something else to base my life on (“vain idols”) would be so tempting. I am Jonah! Guilty as charged!
Yet even from the belly of the great fish Jonah came to his senses and said, “Yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God (2:6).” Jonah was humbled. He realized he could not escape the evil he was trying to avoid traveling away from the presence of the Lord (1:3). Jonah brought the evil of allowing people to die based on his preferences with him, in his own heart, as he fled taking God’s message to Nineveh.
Jonah realized he must share (verbally communicated) God’s grace with Nineveh because he realized he shared (drank from the same fountain of life) God’s grace with Nineveh. By the end of the book it appears that while Jonah accepted this reality he had a hard time with it (4:11). Jonah could preach it as true, but he couldn’t sing it as joy.
I believe this impairs my ability to embrace and willingness to proclaim the gospel. The point is not whether I could muster the love to share the gospel with my brother’s murderer who posted a celebratory video on the internet before going “hunting.” The question can be as simple as, “Do I love my neighbor as myself?” Am I willing to share my hope because I see myself as sharing their predicament? Am I as desperate for them as I am grateful that God was desperate for me?
Or have I become numb by the constant atrocities I see on the news and the hateful banter that permeates the media to a point that I see myself as “different” from real, hateful sinners as Jonah saw himself as “different “ from Nineveh? As soon as I think in “degrees of bad” instead of simply “need for grace” I fall into Jonah’s trap of forsaking the hope of God’s steadfast love.
If we use this reflection to remind ourselves to look at people as sharing our need for God’s grace, then it will become much more natural to share the message of God’s grace with those we see as being “like us.” Jonah’s vision was corrected by a crisis after overt rebellion and bottoming out. May God use Jonah to correct our vision where we are now.
Posted 2 weeks, 1 day ago at 12:17 pm. Add a comment
Starting Tuesday January 17, The Summit Church will launch it’s EQUIP Leadership Forum (ELF; one of my favorite Summit acronyms). I am personally excited about this initiative for several reasons. First, as the Pastor of Counseling, I am glad to see us approach training our leaders in a way that better cares for our leaders. By consolidating our various leadership training efforts, this is an important way to protect our member’s personal and family lives while seek to see our community and world changed with the power of the gospel.
Second, as the counseling ministry prepares to launch several major initiatives, the timing for the ELF is an immense blessing. In the coming months we will be seeking to equip new leaders and offer enrichment training for our marriage mentoring ministry, recovery group ministries, and graduate counseling intern program.
The first half of these monthly meetings (6:30 to 7:30) will be teaching by our lead pastor, J.D. Greear, on the churches core values and ministry principles. In the second half (7:30 to 8:30), we will break our into ministry cohorts for specialized training. At the first counseling cohort all the counseling ministry leaders (and interested leaders) will meet together.
My goal on this first evening will be to cast the vision for how the various pieces of the counseling ministry are intended to work together and work with the larger church. This will be a time when we consider the opportunities and challenges that a counseling ministry presents and look at how the unique resources of the Summit Church can be harnessed. The kinds of subject we will be considering will be:
- Ripe Fields of Harvest: Major life challenges and transitions are when people are open to receive (conversion) and apply (discipleship) the gospel. So how will counseling become a front door to our church and a more integral part of our small group life?
- Church Full of Relationships: We have a church full of caring, hurting people who know many hurting people looking for hope, purpose, and direction. So how will the counseling ministry equip our members to steward their friendships by being able to bridge from everyday life struggles to meaningful conversations about the gospel?
- Ministry of Multiplication: Counseling-related interactions tend to be very time cumbersome and our pastoral/counseling staff will never meet this need. So how will the counseling ministry multiply itself effectively so that most of the pastoral care happens in real (not “professional”) relationships?
- Ministry in/of the Church: Unless our counseling ministry is moving people into the life of the church we are doing little of eternal significance. So how will the counseling ministry seek to ensure that every person who comes in contact with one of our resources sees the relevance of Christian community for their particular life struggle?
- Gospel & Bible Based Ministry: How do we maintain our gospel-centered and Bible-based values when the secular counseling and even the “Christian” counseling literature does not have this as its primary emphasis?
- Army of Volunteers: We have a large number of church members and graduate counseling students eager to participate. So what are the various ways that people can get involved in the counseling ministry?
- Sustainability & Big Picture Structure: The more things we launch the more we have to announce, perpetuate, cultivate / grow leaders, supervise and resource. So how will we structure the counseling ministry in order to make it easily understood by our congregation, provide involvement for various levels of desired expertise, and ensure adequate supervision for everyone involved?
- Grass Roots Structure: How will the individual ministries within the counseling ministry need to operate in order to take advantage of these ministries structures?
- Time Feasibility: Each ministry has to be conducive to the volunteer’s life schedule and the church’s event schedule. So how can we attempt something with this many pieces without exhausting our leaders and consuming the church schedule?
The EQUIP Leadership Forum is going to serve an immense need at Summit. Every ministry in the church will be raising up new leaders, enriching existing leaders, and casting the vision for how each ministry fits within the mission of the church. The counseling ministry is excited about this new initiative and is praying the whole church will take advantage of this opportunity.
Posted 2 weeks, 3 days ago at 10:39 am. Add a comment
A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“[Pride] is purely spiritual: consequently it is far more subtle and deadly. For the same reason, Pride can often be used to beat down the simpler vices. Teachers, in fact, often appeal to a boy’s Pride, or, as they call it, his self-respect, to make him behave decently: many a man has overcome cowardice, or lust, or ill-temper, by learning to think that they are beneath his dignity—that is, by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride. (p. 125).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
I think this quote boils down to trying to understand with what’s so wrong with thinking that sin is “beneath me”? If someone is “pro-pride,” they probably aren’t reading this reflection. Few people have a problem with acknowledging that Satan would love to see us lay down a less destruction sin for a more destructive one.
So the point that makes this quote uncomfortable is that Lewis depicts it as Satan’s ultimate setup to get me to view sin as “beneath me.” I find myself internally torn on this one. My gut doesn’t automatically go where Lewis goes, but I agree with the point he’s making. I have given myself the “you’re better than that” pep talk to avoid sin.
As I wrestle with Lewis’ warning about pride, I realize there is a better pep talk to give (and receive). It is the “that is not who you are” talk. The first pep talk was focused on rank and status – better than. The latter is based on identity.
The difference, as I think Lewis would affirm, is that Jesus did not come to make much of me (rank and status) but to reside in me and adopt me (change my identity and name). When I get this I realize sin is not “beneath me” it is “outside of me.” I was born “in sin” and now I am “in Christ.”
The reason that sin is resisted has less to do with my dignity and everything to do with His. If I begin to think about my dignity, Satan has half the battle won. I am comparing sin to me. Sin does not appear nearly as sinful when I compare it with my nature.
The more I marvel at my nature, the dingier my nature becomes and the less I am looking to Christ as my righteousness. Disdain for every sin that is not actively relying upon Christ is the epitome of being a Pharisee—loving the laws that make me look good, because they make me look good and give me status.
If I were to summarize Lewis’s point and application, it would be: If Satan cannot get us to love self by sinning, then he is content to get us to love self by feeling superior to sin. God calls us to find life by denying self and, thereby, experiencing the freedom God intended.
An example might be helpful. Lewis says we can overcome cowardice by pride and this would be a bad thing. The problem would be that you would have to convince yourself you are “above” what you fear. If you fear rejection, then “it wouldn’t matter what people say.” This has the strong potential of giving us deaf ears to important messages of critique.
However, if what people say matters but does not define who I am, then I can be steadfast without the deafening influence of pride. I could face my fear as real, learning from my fear and the words of critique, without having to condemn myself or those who raise questions. That is the freedom of humility.
Posted 2 weeks, 5 days ago at 11:29 am. Add a comment
