STEP 5. CONFESS TO THOSE AFFECTED for harm done and seek to make amends.
NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at firstname.lastname@example.org (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).
“I have not represented God well in your presence. [List] You have been hurt by my un-God-like actions, attitudes, and beliefs. [List] My goal in life is to make God’s character of love known. That starts with this request for forgiveness. I value our relationship more than my pride. I am currently working on submitting my life to God’s control and understand if you need time to consider my request for forgiveness.”
The PDF anger confession guide from chapter 5 — Confession Guide
Memorize: Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV), “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:
- “Measure you use” – What is the standard of your anger?
- “Speck” – How does the offense against you now compare to the offense of your sin against God?
- “Do not notice” – Anger captures our attention and focuses it on the problems of life.
- “First” – This is both considering our sin first in order (before confrontation) and importance.
- “See clearly” – Until we prioritize confessing our sin, we suffer from moral vision impairment.
“One of the sure signs that we have not really understood the gospel is when we continue to be afraid of, discouraged by, and unwilling to accept our weakness (p. 130).” Paul Tripp in War of Words
“Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of the sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light… It is a hard struggle until sin is openly admitted. But God breaks gates of brass and bars of iron (Psalm 107:16). Since the confession of sin is made in the presence of a Christian brother, the last stronghold of self-justification is abandoned (p. 112).” Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together
“When god-players admit the truth, they find amazing grace in Jesus: forgiveness, mercy, sanity, a fresh start, cleansing, power, freedom (p. 37)… I’ve noticed that when people repent of sinful anger they become able to discuss their own sins accurately – after all, such sins now exist in the light of Christ’s grace and will be progressively destroyed by grace (p. 40).” David Powlison in “Getting to the Heart of Conflict: Anger, Part 3” in JBC (Fall 1997).
“If I can hurt another by speaking faithfully without much preparation of spirit, and without hurting myself far more than I hurt that other, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” Amy Carmichael in If