Step 3: UNDERSTAND the origin, motive, and history of my sin.
NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at firstname.lastname@example.org (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).
“I do not know all I need to know about myself or my struggle with anger. I do know that my heart resists being known (Jeremiah 17:9), and that anger reveals the things that are most important to me (Luke 6:45). I am coming to realize that [list] desires lead me to sinful anger, and that [list] experiences have contributed to the strength of those desires. I believe God is more satisfying than those desires could ever be without Him.”
The PDF anger journal from chapter 3 — Overcoming Anger Journal
Memorize: Proverbs 14:29-30 (ESV), “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:
- “Whoever” – You are not excluded from this passage. Your anger hasn’t made you unreachable.
- “Slow to anger” – Anger is a rushed emotion. To gain understanding you must slow down.
- “Exalts folly” – Anger imposes its false distorted beliefs on others and punishes them for not agreeing.
- “A tranquil heart” – Godly emotions stem from a heart that is resting and relying upon God.
- “Bones rot” – Stewing on anger, grumbling, and bitterness is physically unhealthy and miserable.
“Understanding ourselves doesn’t simply mean getting in touch with our feelings. It also involves becoming aware of the thoughts behind the feelings and recognizing the lies we tell ourselves that feel so true (p. 87).” Leslie Vernick in The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
“Our desire battles for control until it becomes a demand. The demand is then expressed (and usually experienced) as a need. My sense of need sets up my expectation. Expectation when unfulfilled leads to disappointment. Disappointment leads to some kind of punishment (p. 59).” Paul Tripp in War of Words
“Good desires easily become bad masters (p. 104)… To receive God’s forgiving grace, you must own your anger. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. We must not blame past or present circumstances (p. 70).” Robert Jones in Uprooting Anger
“Talk is not cheap because interpretation is not cheap. The way we interpret life determines how we will respond to it (p. 15)… You and I do not respond to people or circumstances of our lives on the basis of facts. Our responses are based upon the way we interpret those facts (p. 21)… What is wrong is not just vocabulary and tone of voice, but a way of looking at life that does not agree with what God says is right and true (p. 22).” Paul Tripp in War of Words